When my mother-in-law Nan died last May, we had just started another block of filming on the ranch. We began filming on a Wednesday, and she passed away Thursday night. Without going into too much detail, we had just found out around Mother’s Day that her situation was terminal and nothing more could be done. At that time, while we had been given no timeline, I think we all assumed that we were looking at two or three months—certainly most of the summer. We couldn’t have imagined that in less than two weeks, she would be gone.
Ladd and I had decided, after we received the news about Nan’s prognosis on Mother’s Day, that we would move forward with that immediate filming block, since the whole production company had already made travel arrangements, and we knew it would be harder to do it later in the summer when (we assumed) Nan’s condition would worsen. But as it turned out, Grammie was on her own timeline. It was as if once she knew the fight was over, she allowed herself to surrender and let it all go. She never did like to waste time.
I told the filming crew early that Friday morning that Nan was gone. They’ve been coming to the ranch to film our family for years, after all, and have all gotten to know Nan through all the meals and get togethers and celebrations. Most of the crew wasn’t aware of the seriousness of her condition, so it was a blow to everyone.
Right after Nan died, Ladd, his brother Tim, the kids, and our kind cowboys threw themselves into sprucing up our family cemetery in preparation for her funeral. It’s how country folks deal with grief—they pick up a welding torch. Our cemetery’s fence needed rebuilding, some holes needed to be filled, and it was just a good way for everyone to focus on a task during the week leading up to her funeral. We all wanted the ranch, the homestead, and the cemetery to look beautiful, for all the extended family that would be coming in…but especially for Nan. She loved the ranch, and she loved the creek behind the cemetery. Her oldest son was buried there, so it was always a special place for her.
Above: Nan’s cobbler.
This Saturday’s episode of my show was filmed just after Nan died. Ladd and I thought about it and said, “Look, we can either completely pretend this didn’t happen on the show and just not acknowledge it at all, or we can show what’s really going on.” It seemed strange just to take a pause in filming, then resume after the funeral as if our family hadn’t experienced this major loss. Folks who’ve watched our show through the years have gotten to know Nan, too. So we decided to devote an episode to one of the days just after Grammie died. We were all working at the cemetery, and we have a family lunch together. It’s sad, but it’s real. And we all held ourselves together pretty well.
I have to mention how wonderful Pacific (our production crew) was—and how supportive Food Network was—during this block of filming. Originally we had nine episodes planned; I think we finished up with four, maybe four-and-a-half. But we received zero pressure from Pacific or Food Network; on the contrary, they basically said “Don’t even think about us, don’t worry about the shows this block—just take time with your family.” Their generosity was such a gift to Ladd and me. We were able to keep our focus where it needed to be. And the whole crew came to our house after the funeral, just like all our friends and family did. They took food to Chuck, they helped coordinate things. It was a surreal situation – a collision of filming and life. But it all worked out as it needed to.
Anyway, I wanted you to have the background since the show on Saturday isn’t the typical episode of PW.
I have to end with this photo of Nan in Hawaii on her and Chuck’s honeymoon. She was so glamorous!
We miss her so much.
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